Rainbow

On the roof, they stood. Holding his hand, she stared at the ashen skies. 

No sun. 

The rain brought with it a grey cover, it marred the sky with its impossible thickness. 

The wind blew; cold, unforgiving; she saw the trees quake - a thought penetrated into her mind, she was scared, scared of the cold wind: Will they make it till the end? She turned her face to look at his, seeked his face which she so dearly loved with all she had and was. She tried to decipher the expression on his face: the calm, serene way his features set on his face as he stared up at the sky, his grip still warm in hers, his fingers still entwined in hers - she let her mind roam the mazes of his mind.

And then, she saw it: His lips curved into a peaceful smile as he looked up at the blank sky. She pondered, ''What's he smiling at the dead sky about?" She was confused, puzzled, perplexed. He looked so happy, his eyes fixated at the dark cover above. 

He squeezed her hand.

A burst of lightening - within or in the sky? She could not tell.

And she looked at the sky again.

A rainbow.

A rainbow. With all its seven colours. A smooth, perfect arch.

And she realised that this was what his face glowed about. Why he looked so tranquil, so serene.

So assured and so happy..

She looked down at the ground, no one seemed to be able to see what they could see: The rainbow.

And then, realisation dawned upon her: She was with him. She was holding his hand. Only they could see the beautiful kaleidoscope in the sky.

And then she understood. She understood what his expression said, what his squeeze meant, what his calm meant. She understood what the cold wind implied - a deja vu: The night their spark powerfully flickered, the breezy night she met him for the first time - and she finally understood what this moment was about. Not the cold sky, not the torrential rain, not the fear of him leaving: It was a moment God sent down for her, to tell her that it would all be alright, that they would make it till the end.

That's what the rainbow depicted, the rainbow only they could see; it was theirs.

And then she understood what being with him really meant, how being with him made her forget her fears, her stress, her troubles; how being with him, she could see the silver lining of the cloud.

Her silver lining?

The seven coloured rainbow.

And she smiled. A smile of pure happiness, of peace she had been waiting for since a long time.

They were at one.

Her hand in his, and his in hers, they watched the rainbow slowly fade away into the sunset. The rainbow which only they could see.

It was their rainbow. And she knew what it meant.

She squeezed his hand back and looked at him with pure love in her eyes, and whispered three simple words as she watched the grey skies melt into a clear, starlit night..

And she knew the sun would rise tomorrow.

Release Me?

25 December 2012
Dear Me,
You have not lost yourself.
Not yet.
Not. Yet.
Not yet.


This cold, cold granite that numbs your bottom, your spine, enslaves you as if forever, it will be no more. It will soon be gone. Ah! Your charming neighbors - "Bhenchod! Mar dawanga tenu!" - pace their cells like mad orange beasts, sweat glistening on their heads, curses dripping from their mouths; beats thats have dawdled into the dark abyss of madness - very soon, very soon it will be gone.
These chains that bind you to the wall; these angry chains that rattle furiously like Stheno's monstrous metallic serpents, hissing madly when roused from their deathly slumber - it will be gone.


Ah, me; ah, me! Dear, sad Me! Can you hear your heart pounding violently in your chest? Can you? I ask you, can you hear that mad thudding? These brutal thuds will tear you apart. Look at that basilisk that guards these dungeons, swinging his baton - "Kuttay dey pillay, aukat tey lawan tenu! Bhen dey!" - look at his dark eyes, like black stones. Hear the snarling of your brethren, their screams, their hollering - that's how they communicate. 
Ha ha.
Embrace it. Swallow this madness. After all, it will all be gone forever.


Your eyes feel heavy, your head drowsy - your rock like cradle, your enslaving cell, the blithering bulb in the ceiling flickering weakly at the dead walls will consume you.
Hark! They call to you - hear! Hear!
Ah, you feel scared. Scared. Claustrophobic. Dead. Constricted. Dead. Savor these emotions. Let them transport you to another realm, a far, faraway realm, my dear.
You will not win this..
Rest your eyes.
You will be freed soon.




26 December 2012
Dear Me,
Let's talk.
I see you visited the chair? Ha ha, oh, what joy it must have been, no!
Bastard.
The voltage shooting up your spine, igniting your body, charging your cells, searing your eyes! Ah, that brutal, brutal gratification. Your senses became magnified, did they not? Like an instant high? Ha ha ho!
Don't.
Just like that child's blood. Oh that sweet child! You miss plunging that knife in his skull, the splatter of his warm, red blood on your face, your eyes, your lips...  I know you miss it.
Stop.
Your savored those moments, didn't you? What power must have surged through your body! Carving his little body into mangled garlands; his smooth skin..
STOP!!!
The warden stands here! He is reading your mind! He is reading your mind! oh! Oh he's.. Oh he's gone. Dear God!


You must rest now. Oh do stop whimpering! The jungle seems to have ceased. Can you hear the monsters grunt like pigs and snore like the sandman's victims?
Remember.. Remember: No more.




27 December 2012
Dear Me,
So. You know now don't you? It will all be over very soon, very soon -


Ah! You smile now! The mad shuffling yonder doesn't unnerve you? Look at the two monsters maul each other to death! Don't cover your ears! Hear the other creatures cheer - screech - them on! Oh look! He bashed his head on the wall! Glee! Sweet, sweet glee! The ruby red blood dripping from it -


The warden is rushing towards then! A grey beast breaking up their fight -


(Lights out; sound of a gun - then silence)


It's so quiet - gone, all gone - isn't it? They're dead. Not so shocked, eh? Yes, don't be.
Get some sleep. Tomorrow is another day.




28 December 2012
Dear Me,
Another day.


The dungeon smells of blood from last night - rust coloured. The stench of dried blood is saline. You can feel is, taste it. You can taste the acidic, pungent smell at the back of your throat.. Just liek the little boy's. Poor, poor Little Babar. Why did you kill him?
Kill him. 
Why did you kill him? You could have.. toyed with him a little bit longer; inhaled his blood, tasted his innocent blood.
He was a sweet boy wasn't he?


These mad screeches disrupt your thoughts don't they? This metallic jangling.
Fret not. It will be gone soon.
Soon.


Yes, the boy. Little Babar. Didn't you feel ecstatic carving his little arms? Little Babar's arms that  thrashed wildly when you plunged that blade deep in his little heart. Remember the shower of blood, of warm blood spraying on your front? But you couldn't savor the act.. The damned police. But your lust, your blood-lust was gratified - so we won't fret about that, is that right?


This damned bulb won't stop flickering! This damned bulb..
Stop pulling your hair like that! What's that on your fingernails? Broken nails? You've been scratching the walls again?! Why you -


Calm. I must remain calm. I promise you, this will be gone. The guilt, The madness. The screeches. Broken nails. Your deafening cries. Your hinger to kill. The blood. 
Your whispers. 
It will all be gone.


Patience. Patience. Patience. 




29 December 2012
(7 a.m)
Dear Me,
I kept my promise. It will all be no more. Breathe in this shroud of insanity around you one last time. Savor your deeds, savor the madness in your stony cocoon.


Ah, what a beautiful morning. You feel it? Now go. You must be prepared.
I will wait for you on the other side.
You are free.